26 signs that you’re a Food Snob (or is that 2 Bakers Dozen!)


Turn your nose up at margarine, processed cheese slices and pre-made salad dressing?

If you’re the one everyone texts for restaurant recommendations and you spend a scarily large proportion of your salary on food, you might just love food.

But if you also find yourself perusing the aisles of Whole Foods more often than Tesco and routinely making your own dip, then perhaps your love of nice food has crossed over into the realm of food snobbery.

Here are the signs that you’re a food snob and proud.

1. You’ve always known how to pronounce quinoa, thank you.

2. Your potatoes are so organic they’re still covered in mud.

3. You know Lancashire, Cheshire and Caerphilly aren’t just places in the UK.

4. You think the phrase “gourmet burger” is an oxymoron.

5. You’d rather try laying an egg yourself than eat a non free-range one.

6. You think pumpkin, hemp, chia, and flax seeds are totally normal everyday food.

7. You call green grapes white grapes.

8. You’ve actually attended a food festival.

9. You use the words nigiri, maki and oshi when it comes to sushi.

10. You wince when people cover every meal in ketchup.

11. You’d rather dip Kettle Chips in hummus than Doritos in salsa.

12. You’d NEVER buy margarine – it’s real butter every time.

13. You turn your nose up to that square, suspiciously orange, processed ‘cheese’ that turns up to every barbecue.

14. Instead of apples and bananas in your fruit bowl, there are papayas and guavas.

15. You know that the raw food movement isn’t “salad”.

16. You check the percentage of meat in sausages at the supermarket, but mostly buy them at the butcher.

17. There’s a bottle of truffle oil in your kitchen.

18. You wouldn’t dream of buying shop bought dip or pre-made salad dressing.

19. You strongly believe meat in a can should be illegal.

20. Domino’s don’t have your phone number to text you about new deals.

21. You’re completely confident de-stoning an avocado.

22. You have a subscription to Graze.

23. You also have a subscription to Abel&Cole.

24. You know sweetbreads have nothing to do with bread.

25. Even with a hangover, you want gourmet food.

26. You own a juicer and fully intend to use it… one day.

We live in a world where food is no longer simply enjoyed. It’s obsessed over, with each bite photographed and every single ingredient traced back to its origins like some sort of artisanal Ancestry.com. This increased fetishisation of food has spawned the food snob, whose borderline psychosis makes even the simple act of enjoying a meal into an endless parade of ridiculous behaviour.

Just enjoy your food and develop a good relationship with it. Remember, if you get too serious you might be labelled a Food Snob!

snob

noun
1.
a person who imitates, cultivates, or slavishly admires social superiors and is condescending or overbearing to others.

2.
a person who believes himself or herself an expert or connoisseur in a given field and is condescending toward or disdainful of those who hold other opinions or have different tastes regarding this field:
a food snob.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s